Too tired to post, copied the original emails for your amusement or sleep aid:
From: Heidi Weston
Sent: Sunday,May 1, 2011 , at 10:49 AM
Subject: RE: It's the star of the show this time
Sent: Sunday,
Subject: RE: It's the star of the show this time
Hello from Heidi Frankenho. Again, sorry if this is your first post and I sincerely apologize if I've neglected to include your Aunt Matilda on this distribution and ask the small favor of forwarding it yourself; I hereby release you from any trademark infringement.
I have calmed down from all the royal wedding excitement, but I am still in shock by the lack of manscaping evident during the ceremony. Did you see that pastor with the big yellow hat? His eyebrows? That dude was sporting a double visor. At least it detracted from his teeth.
I digress, for certainly, you will want to know about me. My facial nerves seem to be healing as I can wiggle my right nostril and feel part of my upper lip. I can't smile because it's stitched to my gum line. My scar is also itching, which is a good sign and I am able to brush lower teeth without pain. It's really hard NOT to blow my nose, dang it. I can shower and wash my hair all by myself, though! I did pose the choice to the Mister of either shaving my legs for me or brushing the horses. Either way, he'd get a good flossing from the fur. He declined, so we're all still haired up for winter.
A couple asides; my surgeon is doing a paper on me, because I guess it isn't all that common to reattach noses somewhat successfully. I always knew I'd get my 15 minutes, but was hoping for stand up comedy, not this way. Denny and I have now got the "good friend in a foxhole" definition down. They take action and don't wait to be asked, yet respect the words, "No thank you", a careful balance to be sure. I am overwhelmed by the support of these friends. Amazing meals which I am so milking, flowers, cards, phone calls, oats, Elmers Glue, whoopee cushions, DVDs, exercising my animals, blanketing and shoveling poop! I have a list I'll never be able to repay. Thank you, keep it coming.
On the more concerning side, are the potential neurological issues due to an unplanned kick to the head. Because I was bucked off of the same daft creature exactly two years ago to the day and suffered a concussion, I definitely have a screw loose. Pause....wait for it, okay, continue. This is why driving, golfing, riding, hugging animals and sex are out of the question for the time being. Any possible more head banging = trouble. I can handle some plastic surgery, but really don't want to wear a walking helmet for the rest of my life. Denny is slightly more adamant about this than me. For better, for worse, blah, blah, blah...
My big adventure today is going to see my Mom for her birthday. She's 82 today and always cheers me up. I got nothing on this woman in the pain department, and perspective is always a good thing.
In closing, this experience has made me so grateful for my Prince Charming, the Mister or as some of you know him, The Colonel. He has gone above and beyond caring for me and not just because it's in the Marriage Handbook. He is a truly caring man. And even though I found out after we were married that he expects occasional Spam sandwiches, I also just found out that he really does know how to separate whites from darks to do laundry. I always suspected as much. Another dose of good medicine has been holding hands and watching TV and talking loudly over the snores of a large dog in bed. We do have a fairytale life, he and I.
Check out my glamour shot with a peak of the bruise. I tease you, I know. Enjoy the sun, y'all!!
That is my report.
Heidi
I have calmed down from all the royal wedding excitement, but I am still in shock by the lack of manscaping evident during the ceremony. Did you see that pastor with the big yellow hat? His eyebrows? That dude was sporting a double visor. At least it detracted from his teeth.
I digress, for certainly, you will want to know about me. My facial nerves seem to be healing as I can wiggle my right nostril and feel part of my upper lip. I can't smile because it's stitched to my gum line. My scar is also itching, which is a good sign and I am able to brush lower teeth without pain. It's really hard NOT to blow my nose, dang it. I can shower and wash my hair all by myself, though! I did pose the choice to the Mister of either shaving my legs for me or brushing the horses. Either way, he'd get a good flossing from the fur. He declined, so we're all still haired up for winter.
A couple asides; my surgeon is doing a paper on me, because I guess it isn't all that common to reattach noses somewhat successfully. I always knew I'd get my 15 minutes, but was hoping for stand up comedy, not this way. Denny and I have now got the "good friend in a foxhole" definition down. They take action and don't wait to be asked, yet respect the words, "No thank you", a careful balance to be sure. I am overwhelmed by the support of these friends. Amazing meals which I am so milking, flowers, cards, phone calls, oats, Elmers Glue, whoopee cushions, DVDs, exercising my animals, blanketing and shoveling poop! I have a list I'll never be able to repay. Thank you, keep it coming.
On the more concerning side, are the potential neurological issues due to an unplanned kick to the head. Because I was bucked off of the same daft creature exactly two years ago to the day and suffered a concussion, I definitely have a screw loose. Pause....wait for it, okay, continue. This is why driving, golfing, riding, hugging animals and sex are out of the question for the time being. Any possible more head banging = trouble. I can handle some plastic surgery, but really don't want to wear a walking helmet for the rest of my life. Denny is slightly more adamant about this than me. For better, for worse, blah, blah, blah...
My big adventure today is going to see my Mom for her birthday. She's 82 today and always cheers me up. I got nothing on this woman in the pain department, and perspective is always a good thing.
In closing, this experience has made me so grateful for my Prince Charming, the Mister or as some of you know him, The Colonel. He has gone above and beyond caring for me and not just because it's in the Marriage Handbook. He is a truly caring man. And even though I found out after we were married that he expects occasional Spam sandwiches, I also just found out that he really does know how to separate whites from darks to do laundry. I always suspected as much. Another dose of good medicine has been holding hands and watching TV and talking loudly over the snores of a large dog in bed. We do have a fairytale life, he and I.
Check out my glamour shot with a peak of the bruise. I tease you, I know. Enjoy the sun, y'all!!
That is my report.
Heidi
From: Dennis P. Weston
Sent:Fri, 29 Apr 2011 -0700
Subject: RE: It's the star of the show this time
Sent:
Subject: RE: It's the star of the show this time
Wow, she’s really doing well. Swelling is coming down, pain is decreasing, looking really good. Still on hard-core restrictions from physician on physical activities and any exposure to infection. The facial bones are still quite fragile, so no driving, only leaving the house for “essential” things, nothing physical. Supposed to keep the arm in a sling until we can determine if there is joint damage to the shoulder. Big risk is infection for both the incision and intra facial areas so I’ve got her almost in a sterile tent!! That’ll probably remain in effect for another week or so.
Post-surgery/recovery emotional low last night. She’s SOOO tired of hurting and being restricted. Thanks for all the cards, flowers, food (and for all of the very thoughtful Gluten-Free dishes) and offers of help. It’s all been so uplifting to us both.
Denny
Dennis P Weston
From: Heidi Weston
Sent:Thursday, April 28, 2011
Subject: It's the star of the show this time
Sent:
Subject: It's the star of the show this time
Hello, my fine fan club. This may be your first posting regarding my adventure, so if you're bored, go ahead and read Denny's posts before you put me in your spam folder. You really only need to know that I'm healing very well. No picture, but if you're on FB, plenty there.
Saw the surgeon who sewed me up yesterday and he took out my stitches and pulled out some crusty boogers. All while wearing a designer suit. See Denny, you could retire and do that job. Healing well, but told me I have a massive hole in my left sinus that he couldn't touch, right orbital break and smashed nose. Did major reconstruction to my nose and upper lip, I will certainly see a scar in about 2-3 months, soft meals and no driving or bending, lifting for another week at least. Oh yeah, no sex and lots of diamonds, too, would reallly speed my recovery. The main thing to worry about is infection. No animals, no dirt, no three second rule on food, so if you're visiting me, please no colds. He expects a year for my sinus cavity to heal completely and doesn't want to go back in. I concur. My face just feels like a lot of pressure, and the only pain I have is in my shoulder, gotta wait ten days for aMRI to determine extent of damage there. I have to say that my guardian angel, Cody's Mom, Allison, saved my eyesight, according to my GP. She said there is a two hour window to fix an orbital nerve injury, that's it. God bless Allison and her little cowgirl, Audrey. She got the medics here and was calm and brave.
Thanks to all of my incredible friends for flowers, movies, over the top food (Gluten Free Eggplant Lasagna to die for!!!! Really!!) and visits. Big thanks toSharon Vanderslice who took me to my doctor visits, saw my boobs and boogers and helped me tell my mom so she wouldn't freak out. She and my doctors are on first name basis now and I'm pretty sure they're all having dinner soon. She not only did all that, but cooked some awesome meals and created a flow chart for recovery. She could be Care Concierge to the stars.
I'm up for visits, but please call first, sometimes all the adoration is too much and I must rest. Also know that Nurse Mister Ratchett may subject you to cross ties with a hose down, background check and cavity search. He will then offer a fine cigar and single malt and ask if it was good for you. He is, if nothing, polite.
In closing, I must say surveys indicate 9 out of 10 pain pill users rate the Prune Milkshake as highly underrated. Try one, your day will be so much brighter.
That is my report.
Heidi
Saw the surgeon who sewed me up yesterday and he took out my stitches and pulled out some crusty boogers. All while wearing a designer suit. See Denny, you could retire and do that job. Healing well, but told me I have a massive hole in my left sinus that he couldn't touch, right orbital break and smashed nose. Did major reconstruction to my nose and upper lip, I will certainly see a scar in about 2-3 months, soft meals and no driving or bending, lifting for another week at least. Oh yeah, no sex and lots of diamonds, too, would reallly speed my recovery. The main thing to worry about is infection. No animals, no dirt, no three second rule on food, so if you're visiting me, please no colds. He expects a year for my sinus cavity to heal completely and doesn't want to go back in. I concur. My face just feels like a lot of pressure, and the only pain I have is in my shoulder, gotta wait ten days for a
Thanks to all of my incredible friends for flowers, movies, over the top food (Gluten Free Eggplant Lasagna to die for!!!! Really!!) and visits. Big thanks to
I'm up for visits, but please call first, sometimes all the adoration is too much and I must rest. Also know that Nurse Mister Ratchett may subject you to cross ties with a hose down, background check and cavity search. He will then offer a fine cigar and single malt and ask if it was good for you. He is, if nothing, polite.
In closing, I must say surveys indicate 9 out of 10 pain pill users rate the Prune Milkshake as highly underrated. Try one, your day will be so much brighter.
That is my report.
Heidi
From: Dennis Weston
Sent: Wed 4/27/2011 5:53 PM
Subject: News
There's good news and some not so good news. First the not so good. The swelling is coming down and it looks like Botox and derma fillers may be back in favor sometime out in the future. I thought for sure the fat lips would stay, but "oh no", not my luck. Check out the photo for tonight's measure of swelling and color.
The good news. Sharon V took Heidi to the Dr today to have her shoulder checked out. X-Ray says not broken, so keep the arm in a sling for 10 days and maybe MRI for joint damage if it's still a problem then. Percoset was giving her GI problems so they prescribed Vicodin. Damn, what a waste, have several Percoset left (hee, hee, hee). If I ration out the Vicodin, might have a few of those left, too.
The trip to the Dr wore out the pretty lady so she's resting.
Everyone's been so nice although I have to seriously question Sharon BOMBAY BOMBAY
Dennis P Weston
From: Dennis Weston
Sent:Mon 4/25/2011 5:53 PM
Subject: RE: Who needs Botox for fat lips???
Sent:
Subject: RE: Who needs Botox for fat lips???
Monday has been a pretty good day. Up and around, not quite so feeble or weak. Face improving (??) as you can see. Swelling continues to decrease but the color brightens! Hey, most people pay big bucks for those lips!
She's using most of the Percoset so I'm starting to worry there won't be any left over and thinking of hiding some for myself. (I think she counts them each time she takes one.)
Fabulous good wishes, flowers, cards and food. Thanks so much, as Louie Louie and Karen know, the vibes are critical to healing and we appreciate all of your thoughts. What great friends and relatives we have, we're so thankful.
Dennis P Weston
From: Dennis Weston
Sent: Sun 4/24/2011 9:24 AM
Subject: Who needs Botox for fat lips???
Sent: Sun 4/24/2011 9:24 AM
Subject: Who needs Botox for fat lips???
A pretty good night overall. Not much sleep until early a.m. As expected, vivid colors and swelling increased as did the pain. Gotta figure out how to wash the blood out of her hair without wetting the face sutures (41 on the outside, don't know how many inside) and nose splint??? I think I'll duct-tape a plastic bag to the front of her face......
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Dennis P Weston
From: Dennis Weston
Sent: Sat 4/23/2011 7:23 PM
Subject: RE: Latest Update
Sent: Sat 4/23/2011 7:23 PM
Subject: RE: Latest Update
Pretty good day. Heidi has been a real trooper, not surprisingly. Just got through instructing me how to make a milk shake for her (can not the threat of withhold those fantastic drugs change her basic nature???).
She's starting to feel great "soreness". Beautiful colors starting to appear on her face and a lot of swelling continuing. She's quite tired and drained. I think she's starting to think that golf isn't such a bad hobby after all.
Thanks again for all your love and good wishes. I'll bet she's "sore as a boil" tomorrow! I may get the best photo yet in vivid, HD, color.
Dennis P Weston
From: Dennis Weston
Sent: Sat 4/23/2011 12:01 PM
Subject: Latest Update
Sent: Sat 4/23/2011 12:01 PM
Subject: Latest Update
We're home and doing OK. Long night last night, hospitals are noisy places and in spite of common sense to the contrary, they still wake you every hour to encourage you to get some sleep. I think we both nodded off about
Thanks to God for the good drugs. Even without sleeping they kept her comfortable.
Heidi's eating and drinking, very cautiously and slowly, up and bossing me around in spite of all threats to take away the drugs. Nose splint, face bandage and lots of sutures. I think everything's under control. Trying to find a place in the yard to dig a VERY big hole with which to put shit-fuck horse in once I'm through torturing him.
Note the before and after photos attached which I'm sure will be widely broadcast throughout the internet soon.
Thanks for your emails and calls and well wishes. We're lucky to have such great friends, we love you all dearly.
Happy Easter.
Dennis P Weston
From: Dennis Weston
Sent: Fri 4/22/2011 7:50 PM
Subject: Evergreen Hospital
Sent: Fri 4/22/2011 7:50 PM
Subject: Evergreen Hospital
Hi,
Sorry I haven't kept some of you in the earlier loop, but here's the status of Heidi's horse kick in the face this morning around 11 a.m.
Transported via medic one at about . Heidi is still in the OR as of . The Dr expected 2 to 2 1/2 hrs, then 1 1/2 hrs or so in recovery. And then, get this, they think they will send her home tonight! What the fuck? (Update, they kept her overnight.)
Diagnosis: broken nose, broken right cheek bone between the eye and sinus. Left cheek bone and bones under her nose broken, but all except for the actual nose are "smaller" breaks where the broken edges remained close together and that will heal on their own. More damage is possible if he tried to fix them. One long (2-3 inches) Serious VERY deep laceration on upper lip up and alongside the nose. This scar will be a doozie. The laceration on her lip went all the way through to her mouth, other lacerations inside her mouth. The broken nose, laceration inside and outside of her face are being repaired now by the plastic surgeon. More plastic surgery likely required, but must wait a year.
God, I am so glad I came home from Mazama this week early.
That horse is going to be one very dead mother fucker, but I'm going to beat him slowly with a 2x4 first.
I just picked up her prescriptions and it looks like I finally get a Percoset. I believe I need one.
Denny Weston
Fluke Venture Partners
Sorry I haven't kept some of you in the earlier loop, but here's the status of Heidi's horse kick in the face this morning around 11 a.m.
Transported via medic one at about . Heidi is still in the OR as of . The Dr expected 2 to 2 1/2 hrs, then 1 1/2 hrs or so in recovery. And then, get this, they think they will send her home tonight! What the fuck? (Update, they kept her overnight.)
Diagnosis: broken nose, broken right cheek bone between the eye and sinus. Left cheek bone and bones under her nose broken, but all except for the actual nose are "smaller" breaks where the broken edges remained close together and that will heal on their own. More damage is possible if he tried to fix them. One long (2-3 inches) Serious VERY deep laceration on upper lip up and alongside the nose. This scar will be a doozie. The laceration on her lip went all the way through to her mouth, other lacerations inside her mouth. The broken nose, laceration inside and outside of her face are being repaired now by the plastic surgeon. More plastic surgery likely required, but must wait a year.
God, I am so glad I came home from Mazama this week early.
That horse is going to be one very dead mother fucker, but I'm going to beat him slowly with a 2x4 first.
I just picked up her prescriptions and it looks like I finally get a Percoset. I believe I need one.
Denny Weston
Fluke Venture Partners
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