Blackballed Friday

Since we had to Black Friday a new refrigerator, off to Sears we went.  The vultures were hovering so we invited one to sell and feast.  Of course, the one on sale wouldn't possibly fit, so we found the only one that did.  Fortunately, it was the type we wanted at an okay price.

Yippee, pay with a Sears credit card, save some money, get some reward points, buy more stuff, are you happy, so happy in retail land???  That's fine, I can use the first credit card I received when I was 18.  Cue the lights and angels:  Sears Credit Card.  Yep, 30 years ago, I was well taught about credit and finance.  Get a credit card, use it, ALWAYS pay the balance, build good credit, buy more stuff.  I was able to buy my first new car, a Toyota Tercel  ( I thought of it as a Mercel at the time) at 19, working part time and in college.  Couple years later, buy the first house.  Yep, building credit is good.  Insert pat on back here.

Fast forward to today.  We have one credit card.  Only one.  The one that allows us to travel first class internationally at least once a year because of the miles.  The card that we have never, ever, carried a balance.  I used my Sears credit card five years ago to buy a dishwasher, no big deal.  Now, I have to open a new account because its been over two years.  I spent AN HOUR on the phone and with the vulture verifying stupid information to buy a fridge.  They asked me three times how much money I made per year.  I replied, "I'm retired."  2nd time:  "I'm retired, but my husband works and we make $XX".  3rd time:  "I'm a total loser and allow my husband to support me.  He brings in $XX.  Can't you run a credit check?"

They opened a new account for Denny.

Roasted Hedgehog

Two days of cooking, over in 20 minutes. At least there are enough leftovers for a week, not to mention a fully fried chicken.  The Colonel didn't want the deep frying oil to be wasted on just one turkey, so he fried three chickens and we gave them away as bonus parting prizes.  All the precautions  for deep frying were utilized so it seems ironic that the only mishap was when Gus threw his hedgehog into the fire and it had to be doused with water.  Oy vey.  Now there is charred dog toy marks all over the rug.

Because I made a carrot and parsnip side, the Wiener Horses got lots of peelings.  They also had to perform on command for everyone, so Tino is really good at bowing now.  Trusty is going to Leah's class for Show and Tell in January, we're going to prepare. I'm not sure how, but we will be ready.

I'm going to attend an informational session at the Delta Society next month.  I want to find out if Trusty would make a good "Visiting Pet".  I think he's very mellow and safe, but there are guidelines and certifications before he makes some old person's day.  I think we'd have fun and I'll train him to load via a ramp into a canopy in the back of the truck.  It just seems overkill to load a 200 lb horse into a huge trailer pulled by a huge truck.

Hope you all had a festive feast. 

The Tooth Fairy Cometh

A very interesting day for dentistry.  The vet came by to examine the boys and float teeth, wash sheaths and give vaccinations.  She said that little Trusty had very sharp points, gingivitis and needed his wolf teeth pulled.  Poor little Trusty had the Full Meal Deal!!

He is such a mellow little man that when he was sedated, it was hard to tell.  She was so good with him; giving him a shot of Novacaine to help with the extractions.  They also received Valerian root and Rescue Remedy which greatly reduces the amount of stress.  I think he'll be much happier with a pain free mouth.

Tino did very well, too, he was up and around in about 15 minutes looking for food.  Both boys did not like the sheath cleaning at all, little swishing tails and tiny furious kicks, even under sedation.  I offered to put my face near their little back feet to see what would happen, but Dr. Hannah said we didn't need to find out.

I called my sister to talk with my Mom before they headed over to Mazama for a few days.  She told me that Stu the 'Phew had a loose tooth and was messing with it so Mom (Oma) told him to wrap some floss around it and wiggle the root with it.  As he was twisting the dental floss, Lily told me that Oma came up behind him and hit his elbow really hard, causing him to jerk the tooth right out.  Said it was the funniest thing she evey saw.

I think Oma missed her calling.



I Tried Mister; Really, I Did

Be realistic.  You handed me blog fodder on a big hurkin' platter.  I kept it in for three days, I think that is remarkable restraint.

Okay, let me get this all out to you, faithful readers, so that you may bask in the most amusing of Mister episodes.

We were preparing to go to dinner Sunday night with some friends at Trellis in Kirkland.  Fairly quiet as restaurants go and it was Prix Fixe for $29, score.

I showered, dressed and was drying my hair when the Colonel undressed and I assumed was going to take a shower.  Instead, he reached into a drawer and pulled out small cuticle scissors.  I watched him go into the toilet closet and close the door.  I was puzzling over what he could possibly doing so I asked, "What could you possibly be doing?" He shouted, "Manscaping".  Just as I was thinking that a naked man alone with scissors is not a good mix, he yelped and yelled, "Come here!"

I didn't know what to expect, so when I opened the door to see blood dripping everywhere, my nuturing emergency instincts kicked in as I screamed, "Not on the rug, damnit, stay over the toilet!" You guessed it.  The man had nicked his scrote.  Why he thought he needed a trim in his nether region is beyond me, but there you go...  always keeps the mystery and romance alive, that one.

We got the bleeding to subside and I carefully placed a bandaid on the sacred sack.  He sat somewhat carefully when we arrived at Trellis. We were handed menus and gave our drink orders while we waited.  I glanced down at the menu and what did I see as an offering.....

"Hanging Tenders"


Epic.

Half the Work, Twice the Fun

Tino

Can you stand it?  They're so damn cute I can hardly stand it.

I have to remind myself that although they're so tiny, they can still kick and bite.  Mom, Lily and Leah came to see them while they were eating lunch and of course, DogGus had to get in the middle of it.  That made Valentino mad because he thought his friend AND food was threatened, so he nipped Gus on the back.  Fastest exit by dog ever.

I really wish I would have brought my camera to capture the Colonel walking Trusty on Sunday.  It was so funny.  He was sure everyone driving by was pointing and laughing.  They were.

I can't believe how patient they are with all the fussing.  I guess its because they are certain to receive either baby carrots or little pieces of apple.

Trusty

Dr. Hannah is coming on Thursday to do teeth and sheath.  Google it if you need to know what that is;  this is a family blog, I'm not giving you any smut.

I will allow you to imagine one thing:  Milkduds.

Numb To It All

In my Vicodin induced fog, I am trying to remember when I truly felt this much pain as such was experienced today..  I believe it was when I was bucked off a couple years ago and my neck was so painful I thought I broke it.  I remember cussing up a blue streak and the Colonel telling me to be quiet and I told him to shut the f**k up.

I had no pain with the kick to the face.  Really.  I think it was because the body enters protective shock and I also kept up with the drugs religiously.  My written instructions after this incision was a couple of Advil every few hours.  No biggy.

About 10 PM last night, my head was on fire and I was sure that the doctor nicked my brain.  I took my two of my reserve pain pills and tried to sleep and was not successful.  Took all of my reserves and called him first thing this morning to demand drugs.  I got in to see him and he was overly concerned with my former accident.  Now, keep in mind, I gave him the five page hospital and followup report when I first saw him and we had mutually decided that it was better to cut out skin cancer than live with it.  I've seen him five times and each time, he marvels at my face and talks about horses.  Anyway, I wasn't accepting a prior injury for this pain and finally he told me what he thought happened. 

He said nicked a nerve and that has resulted in the worst headache ever with a completely numb region from my right eye half way over my skull. We hope it goes away. So nice to have almost symmetrical numbness.

I am not one to usually wallow in self pity, but today, I've made an exception.  Plus, my nose looks big in this picture.  Sigh....

14 Stitches, Hurray!

So off to the dermatologist today for a biopsy on the rash on my stomach and check forehead cancer progress. Hello, head injury reminder friend, today is head excision day, conviently forgotten. No Valium to prepare and lots of shots to numb along with deep cutting and more numbing shots so that lasers my be used to create the certain 2" scar. So very happy to add to my collection of facial scars.

The good news is that now, we'll be cutting the stomach area, which is generally covered almost always.

The War Has Begun

Nearly every day, Gus and I go for a short walk through the park, sometimes a long one depending on the weather.  Every time, for the past few months, we see a coyote.  He is quite brave, stopping to stare and then run. There is a smaller one, too, but I've only seen it twice and have heard both of them frequently at night.  I hear them with ear plugs in because DogGus likes to sing along loudly and quite out of key.

I just went out to scoop milk duds (min horse droppings) and Gus' gifts.  There, middle of the lawn;  headless rabbit.  Gus ran over to it, sniffed it and immediately went into a rabid rage of barking, bouncing, howling.  Oh, yeah, baby, you think you gonna come on my territory and leave something like that?!?!!  Yeah, who you think you are, Coyote Corleone? 

He ran over to the gate and pooped.  I tossed the headless warning into the blackberries across the way.  Ick.

It's on.....

It Was Such a Good One!!

We sold our former poop trailer, my Christmas present from 2008.  It was a 5X8 lift and I loved going to Pacific Topsoil, then Flower World, to cleanse the palate.  It was just sitting there and kinda in the way, so I listed it on Craiglist, then it was gone.  I know, dumb, but what the hell.

Now we have the Weiner Horses, as the Colonel calls them.  Although it is small, dog-scoopable poop, it needs to go somewhere.  You can legally dump no more than 10% of your garbage as animal waste (not carcass, mind you, don't want to be doing that!) per my research.  I think we'd come in at about 25% per week, so that's out and why miss a chance for the Colonel to wheel and deal over a NEW trailer?  It's always about the man for me.

So off we go to look at new dump trailers, specifically, the one advertised on Craigslist.  A 4X7 lift dump, so very cute and small for the very cute and small manure.  We drove to "Trailer Boss" a new dealership just outside Mukilteo amongst all the RV and Wally World dealerships.  There it was, new and shiny and very small.  I allowed the Colonel to be the man, all wheeling and dealing (spare tire and new trailer plug electrical converter thingy, woo-hoo, big negotiations!!).

Anyway, during this intense deal, the phone rings and the guy answers and gets all reverent.  He says he is with a customer-all-professional-and-suave and then says to us when he hangs up-  that was the big guy, my boss.  Of course, I had to punt.  "OH, WAS IT THE TRAILER BOSS????"  Just a blank look from him with a mild appreciative snort of acknowledgment from the Mister.  Geez, one of my best and it lands on deaf and lame ears.

Such is my life.

Barbie's Dreamhouse

It really is just like playing Barbies Barnyard.  Mini horses with mini brushes and mini halters and mini buckets and everything!  I played Barbies with Trusty (note to self:  change name, even if it is bad luck) and Valentino (good name, but too long.  He was born on Feb 14 with a heart shaped patch on his forehead;  blue eyes, kinda scary.  Rudy?  Rudy Valentino, get it?  We'll see).

No, I'm not drunk.  I really did sign up to care lease two adorable tiny horses, one of which pulls a cart and is really fun.  He's fifteen, which is two in mini years.   They eat a total of one flake a day. One teeny handful of grain with a half teaspoon of vitamins.  Unreal. 

I was frothing to my friend Lorie today who is all things horsey and is firmly to blame for this because of all kinds of reasons, but at least she thinks the way I do.  Okay, maybe even funnier because she said, "Even their poop is cute, so tiny."  I'm thinking I'll have to use a dinner fork to scoop it.

For now, all is roses and gumdrops.  Give me a week and I'll be, "Goddamnit, whose idea was this to feed these beasts at 6 AM?" 

At least I won't feel the Hoof of Command on my bed and they can't whinny very loud.  They come here tomorrow, oh boy oh boy, the pitter patter of tiny hooves.

Free Booze!!

Off to Mom's for Happy Hour at 3:30.  Yep, when you're old, things start sooner and end sooner.  Also, it's free.  Nothing says Happy Hour when it's free and comes out of a box.

Good times.