Monday, January 30, 2012

I Got Lucky!!

Get it?  Ha Ha Ha. Lucky is the new mini we're boarding and he is just stinkin' cute.  He and Trusty are similar in size and they have bonded tremendously since he arrived.  Except when it comes to sharing treats.

Shut up.  No, you shut up.  The treats are for me.  Are not, are too, are not, are too....
 
 

Tino is too worried about proving he is the boss, so he remains in jail until he knows better.  He also could lose 10 pounds so he really is in fat jail.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Dairy Crisis

I usually watch the news at noon if I'm home.  Today, the news was on ALL DAY.  Snow, ice, danger, power loss, male pattern baldness, end of days.

STATE OF EMERGENCY.  Yes, that is what we have.  And the reason why?  Straight from the Governor's mouth:  "Dairy truckers are restricted to certain hours based on trucking regulations.  The state is potentially losing $1 million dollars a day in lost milk.  We must declare a state of emergency to override the state trucking statutes and invoke a federal law."  This is what she said today.

Really?  All over milk?  I say, dump the milk into the snow and make lots of ice cream!!  Winning!!

And to think the Colonel wanted to go to Mazama this week.  We have more snow here than there, and I am so over it.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

They Make Me Laff

What a delightful day.  Snow;  a reason to stay inside and make beet soup.  You heard me, beet soup, 0 fat and good fiber, just what the Colonel needs.

The little boys have been making milk dud soup with all the bucking, rearing, biting, rolling and general tom foolery out there.  I've never seen them play so much and you should see Trusty!  He is so instigating every episode with that sneak attack to the ankle, then razor fast face biting.  I took a video that of course won't load so I had to youtube it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL9BkP24VOE&feature=youtu.be

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Investigative Journalism

Mr. Rat, or perhaps a relative of his, is back.  I am inclined to think it is not a rat now, because of the unusual facts that have appeared.  As a former HR investigator, I'm all about the facts.  Just the facts, ma'am.

1.  I covered the holes leading under the barn.  They are freshly dug out.
2.  Gus still sniffs everywhere and bounces about when I say, "Get the mousey."
3.  I moved the Have-a-Heart-Trap to the side of the barn closest to a freshly dug hole and the next day, the trap was sideways, the paper plate was torn up with the peanut butter gone and an apple piece outside of it.

Based on these facts, I believe there is something living under the barn and possibly a raccoon messed with the trap.  We have two intruders.  The Mister thinks a mouse did it.  Really?  This is what the Great White Hunter came up with?  A mouse moved the trap and tore (not chewed) the plate into eight pieces?  His reasoning was because the trap door was still up.  My reasoning is that the raccoon shook it out and the trap door is stuck. The Mister put another plate of peanut butter inside after fixing the trap door, which was stuck.



It is amazing how sometimes the universe aligns and a theory actually works.  So here is the background;  the mini trailer fits in the back of our truck perfectly.  It uses a ramp which is so steep that it scares the crap out of me to climb it and also scared the minis, as well.  Very unsafe with no side rails, either.  The Mister came up with a brilliant solution.  Why don't we put it inside the horse trailer?  Yes, a mini trailer inside a horse trailer.  Because, after all, that's why we bought a lightweight mini hauler.  To put into our cumbersome horse trailer for ease of use. After presenting him with the patented wife move of eye rolling and not-so-concealed exasperation, I said, how about we put it into a trailer that is lower to the ground, so the ramp isn't so inclined?  A bit of research showed that a landscaper utility trailer might work, so off we went. Sure enough, a 4X6 was the perfect fit (and has a built in ramp!!) and the guys at Kirshner in Woodinville were so excited that they wired it, cut out a tiny space on the ramp for the upper lock on the drop down window in back and washed it for me.  Then, they took pictures to put on their website.  They told me that after they took the pictures, they realized that people would think, "Big deal, a horse trailer," so in order to give it perspective, they put Rudy, the office cat inside.  I told them, "Well, what if Rudy was a giant cat?  Would it still be in perspective?"  Really, you need to think these things through.

So we got the trailer in a trailer home and I backed it into its' little spot next to the barn under the roof.  Time to load the boys.  Trusty wasn't entirely sure, so I did the old carrot on the ramp trick.  He stretched and tried to reach it with his stubby little neck, then looked at me and performed his "cute" trick.  (He cocks his head sideways like a listening dog and bats his eyes.  Truly, it's pretty funny.)  When that didn't work, he took a step and received much praise and a bit of carrot.  Another step, another bit.  Then he stood for a while on the ramp and stamped his foot and looked at me.   I said, "Nice try, but moving forward is the goal."  Another pause and he walked right in to crunch up a half dozen baby carrots.  He stood for a while and I went to get Tino.  He paused and looked at Trusty eating carrots and ran up the ramp and into the trailer.  Smart boy.

Terribly exciting, my life.  As I used to sign off on my emails at work:

That is my report.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Good Riddance

2011 really sucked after April for a long time.  It seems all very unreal now and I don't feel like people are staring at me so much anymore to gauge my healing.

We met some really fun and good friends for an overnight NY party starting with Build-Your-Own-Bloody-Marys at Paliminos for lunch.  Then, the four guys and I went to see the stupidest movie I think I've ever seen, "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Blah".  The best part was when Mike fell asleep next to me and started snoring, really loud.  It was only after Denny actually heard him and most of those around us were laughing that I elbowed him to wake up.  The smart girls went to see, "We Bought a Zoo", which was at least somewhat entertaining.

Power naps ensued and then we had apps and champagne in our friends' suite.  We dressed all fancy and the boys wore their coordinated tuxes, as pre-planned.  Of course, we all complimented ourselves on our fancy finery (I taught the Mister how to say, "That's cute" and he says it convincingly) and how well we clean up.  Then we piled into the Westin van with to-go cups and landed at Glendale CC for a night of dinner and dancing.  There were about 90 couples, most we knew.  We mingled with everyone and I only heard, "Wow, your face looks really good," twice, which is a big win for me because it means people are forgetting.  Of course, I'm not forgetting, as I take my Rx at exactly 9 PM or else my face starts burning and when I attempt head banging while dancing to AC/DC, I think vertigo might appear, so I can't. 

I did get up on stage to dance with the band (invited, not as a drunken stunt, mind you.)  I dry humped the bass player because he was over 300 lbs and then did the Time Warp because it was the song being sung (okay, that was a bit of drunken play).

Then I realized people were staring at me, but this time I didn't mind at all.