Wedded Piss (I Mean, Bliss)

Ahhh, June.  The month of weddings.  I've been thinking about weddings because I like to watch the series, "Big Fat American Gypsy Weddings".  Fascinating.  Young girls dressing and behaving like skanks, yet taught not to kiss any boy but their husband at around age 16.  Cartoonish wedding dresses and much drama.  Good times.

My own betrothal began on a camping trip with the family.  It was fun staying in the camper, but because it was cold out and I didn't want to go to the facilities across the way in the middle of the night, I decided to pee in a cup.  Yes, that is what I did and poured it down the sink then went back to bed.  In the morning, I woke to find the Colonel drinking out of said cup.  Slightly horrified, I told him what had been in the cup prior to his lips.  He wasn't even slightly amused.  However, we were still engaged and proceeded to tell the family at the reunion later that day.  Celebrate.

Following this theme a bit, on the day of our actual wedding, we dressed in our finery at the then Columbia Tower Club.  Slightly nervous and right before the ceremony, I ran into the ladies room and promptly peed on my bustle/train/bow thing that hung off my dress.  Fortunately, it was made of chiffon, so I scrubbed it in the sink and tried to wring it out and pat it dry.  My dad and uncle were waiting for me so I ran out and said, "I just peed on my train."  We have a great picture of all of us coming down the aisle laughing hysterically. My bustle/train/bow thing dried at the altar. Again, good times.

See the common thread?  Weddings and all that are just so exciting that one must express themselves.

Pasture Play

It hasn't been that long, but I guess a few people read these ramblings and I don't want to disappoint, no I do not.

The Colonel and I along with the three useless animals are residing in Mazama for the next few weeks.  And in case a would-be burglar is reading this, the alarm is on and we rigged poisoned darts to stab you if you approach within three feet of the barn.  My hay and grain must be safe, at any cost.

So the little ones arrived and tumbled out of the trailer with bewildered blinking eyes.  I led them to their heavenly pasture which confused them even more.  They stood looking at each other and walked a few steps and rolled crazily.  If they knew how to stick their tongues out at the same time, I'd swear they had rabies.  Jump up, eat grass, Lucky jumps all four hooves off the ground and proceeds to rodeo.  I was laughing at him, when Trusty, the ever controlled, staid horse, walked up to me and nosed me in the butt, saying, "Are you seeing this?  Are you letting him get away with such unbecoming behavior?"  Really, you could see it on his face.  Since I just stood there, he had to run after him and attempt to bite him into submission.  Lucky just ran and kicked some more, so Trusty joined in.  It's the first time I've ever seen him gallop.

A couple days of bliss and now they are being hitched up to the carts.  DogGus made sure they both knew that he was in charge by barking loudly in their faces and running.  He only did that because he knew they couldn't chase him while harnessed.  The Colonel was praying that nobody we knew would see him and luckily for me, his hunting buddy that farms next door pulled up and laughed delightedly.  Our little dog and pony show continued down the road and we pretended we were in chariots and raced.  Of course, Lucky won because once he gets going, there is no stopping.  That and I'm lighter than the Colonel so poor Trusty had the weight disadvantage and frankly, barely walking is more his style.

So those are my daily adventures with the boys.  They go in the barn at night because the cougars are nearby and a bear tore down our neighbors bird feeder two nights ago.  The farmers two Labs came over to investigate and bark at them, but Gus and I scared them off and they are keeping a respectful distance.  Plus, I made the Colonel electrify the bottom fence wire.

The Colonel is fishing now and I am going to take the Niece and da 'Phew for rides while DogGus keeps us all in line.  This will be a Memorable Weekend.

A Stitch in Time

I will see various doctors this week;  my dermatologist for my six month scan, the acupuncturist for my weekly pokes and a new ENT for a scope up the nose.  Maybe the Calidora nurse for some major nose Botox, I'm not sure.

At my last fun visit with the derm, I had the baseline full body scan.  He of course, offered to burn offending things off or scalp them and I picked and chose those items.  One of these weird things was on my toe, on top of a 33 year old bunion scar.  It would get red and bumpy and then go away after awhile.  It wasn't cancerous and I didn't want the bother of a bandaid and scab to deal with.  On this past Saturday, it was back and I touched it and it felt like a hair was stuck.  I grabbed a magnifying glass and tweezers and pulled out a quarter inch stitch!  Yes-  this whole time, an errant piece of nylon was trying to break free!  Utterly earth shattering, I'm sure you agree. 

It is so very reassuring to know that my body will do what it will to remain healthy, even if it takes a long, long, time.