First and foremost, he froze his butt off. It was 30 degrees one night and in spite of three layers of long underwear, a many pocketed coat and a rain coat over that, he almost died (according to him). Very dramatic. Turns out, he didn't fluff his pine needles enough. His lounging area contained some pine needles, rocks, twigs and branches, but he didn't fluff them to cover himself enough. It seems as though the speech about the scorpions nesting in them put him off and he didn't like the feel of ants and stuff all over his face. I told him this is why I fluff the bedsheets after breaking wind. It will keep us both warmer; scientific fact.
I asked him if he was so frickin' cold, why didn't he buddy up to his brother? It seems that he didn't want to risk the old rule of, "Hole to hole or pole to pole; men don't sleep pole to hole". What? I thought he was dying here, I can't keep up.
He brought home yet more knives. Evidently, we have narrowly escaped great tragedies by not owning more knives. Phew, bring on the terrorists and earthquakes now.
Speaking of survival, we decided we would keep Elmer in the back yard and keep him fat, just in case. We can always chop a haunch off in case of emergency or even as a thank you barbecue for our friends. I know, it's a great idea, dontcha think?
You could be so lucky as to receive an invite.
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