So I made my monthly trek to the dermatologist so he could look at the scar on my head and remark that, gee, only one out of his 300 surgeries this year has ever had nerve damage. Yeah, whatever. After all that fun with him, we thought it a good idea to look at other moles, i.e., a fully body search for more cutting spots. Let's take off all our clothes and be happy to be wearing a clean thong.
He started by looking at my scalp, kinda. He said, "Wow, you have a lot of hair, you should have your hairdresser keep an eye for dark spots on your scalp." I said, "Wait until you see my legs." I thought to myself, "My hairdresser has gone to medical school? I should ask." I pointed out several weird spots that I had kept an eye on for changes, including one on my toe. When he saw my toe, he asked if I wanted it froze off, much too eagerly. I asked if it was cancerous and he said, no, but if it bothered me...Okay, why would I want a mole on my toe burned off to cause some pain I didn't need? He really is aptly named Dr. Bun Ass.
As he looked at my legs, I said, "Well, I just got through No-Shave November and we're into Don't Shave December, so what do you think?" He said nothing, but the nurse snickered. Then we took pictures of my back and stomach because it was all very suspicious. Those might end up on Facebook, just for future reference. Bottom line, no cancerous areas, except for my scalp which is undetermined until I get my hair cut.
My next doctor appointment will involve Dingleberry December, I think.
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