The Colonel and I went to see a new Neurosurgeon yesterday to discuss further options for my face. While waiting, a former coworker of his walked in and we discussed options for her foot. She has neuropathy, which doesn't result from being stepped on by a horse, I discovered.
We wait and he comes in, wearing his official white coat and bolo tie with huge silver rodeo belt buckle. Okay, I like cowboy doctors, like anyone else, but he really threw me off; he was wearing socks and flip flops. Not special socks with flips flops. Dress black socks with the toe all stretched and squished around the flipper part of the flip flop.
Very disturbing, but he explained he was originally from Sante Fe. Still, doesn't explain the footwear.
He quite enjoyed my MRI and happily pointed out to the Colonel (first time seeing it) that my face was indeed shattered and kept zooming in and out on my nose. A faint shadow on the screen, fast mouseroll, then BAM! Nose in seven pieces. Great entertainment. I discovered later that the Colonel wasn't even watching because he was trying to decipher what the conch on his bolo tie said. (The one that spelled out his last name).
The good news is that I don't have dementia. He put me through the tests of repeating cabbage, table, baseball, dog, Chevrolet, rose, blue, and belt, several time during the exam. I missed two on the first go around. It's interesting to me that I pictured these items grouped on the table (except for the dog and car and the table was blue, duh). The Colonel later said that he pictured the actual words. That was the most exciting part of the whole exam and then we talked treatment and prognosis.
He said he believed my nerves would regenerate to a point, but probably not my upper gum line. I believe numbness is preferably to pain, so I'm okay with that. Since I had a rash reaction to the common nerve drug, he gave me a bottle of Lyrica to try. I carefully grilled him on side effects, to which he said, "It will make you tired at first, you'll get used to it, if the small dose isn't enough after a week, up it and check for a rash. The good news is that unless you intend to get falling down drunk every day, it won't interfere with alcohol." That lead me to wonder if he thought I was planning on hitting the bar for lunch and just had that look of a desperate alcoholic. He also said that I should try a low dose of capsaicin, which I could find in a drug store. You dip a Qtip and speck the pain and then THROW IT AWAY. He said DON'T TOUCH IT WITH YOUR BARE HANDS OR YOU WILL DIE WHEN YOU TOUCH YOUR EYE OR GENITALS. Okay, okay, Dr. Sock Flop, I get it!!! Geez, simmer down already. Fortunately, he didn't say about not touching other peoples' eyes or genitals, so we'll just have that little experience later. Stay tuned.
Of course, in furthering my Google MD training, I swiftly found out that Lyrica causes tiredness, dizziness, dry mouth, memory loss, weight gain and painful genitals (only if you touch yourself after use). I duly took it after dinner and boy howdy, better than Benadryl. I am a bit woozy this morning, but still know how to use spell check, so it's all good. My face did feel somewhat better, even with the weather change, so that's a plus. Once again, stay tuned.
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