This is a blog created to satisfy many of you sick people that just need to know every gory detail of my horse kick on April 22nd, 2011, or Earth Day, or The Day I Hit The Earth, Really Hard. Facial lacerations and head trauma can be pretty damn funny and bits of my life sprinkled in makes for good fodder as well. My humor helps me heal. You're welcome.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Merry Crapping Christmas
I can't believe that this picture turned out. We went to the Woodmark Hotel to see Santa Paws and donate to the Seattle King County Humane Society. Thank God Lorie came along to handle Lucky because every one of these beasts were out of control. My Mom was to meet us there at 11 AM.
I sewed reindeer antlers covered with lights on their halters and they did fine with them. I assumed they would poop in the trailer on the way, so inside, it wouldn't be an issue. We trotted in and saw some friends who had brought their puppies for the pictures. The Mister was handling DogGus while he tried to lunge and play while dragging his dad all around. I led Trusty to registration where he was mobbed and some parents tried to set their kids on him. We gently discouraged that and while I filled out paperwork, Trusty was busy rooting around under the table and low and behold, started crunching on an apple that someone had left. As I ran to get towels to clean up his slobber, Lucky looked like he was going to pee. Nope, he just lifted his tail and shot out some milkduds. I grabbed a bag and quickly sponged up the balls; "It's just grass, people, just grass." Gus is barking at the puppies and Trusty is just chomping and drooling away. If you look closely, you can see the towel under Santa's feet. I forgot it.
So we were waiting for my mom to show up and I thought we'd take them outside a bit. Trusty refused to go out the door because he now had to shoot some malt balls. Grabbed some bags and took care of that. I figured all was good and we went back into the library area. People were taking pictures, so we posed for a bit and then Lucky shot some more out. Did I mention that he was a total fool with Lorie, biting her and trying to rear? He is a trouble maker, that one. I cleaned up one more time and then Ron, the Banquet Manager introduced himself to me. I assumed he wanted a picture, but no, he told me, "I love livestock, I really do, but I have weddings here later and it's starting to smell like a barn." Translation, "Get out." So we packed up and trudged up the hill and met my mom and brother coming towards us. She said they stopped for coffee for him and that they were going to Kidd Valley for lunch. So much for meeting me there for a picture at 11 AM.
I was exhausted when we got home and took a long nap. Total clusterf**k.
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