All is well. I guzzled 4 liters of saline cocktail Thursday night and Friday morning. Fortunately, the Mister was not present for most of the desired results. It wasn't so bad, just annoying to have to keep going so often.
Upon arrival at Swedish, my nice nurse whisked me into a "private" room and covered me with warm blankets. I asked if I could choose my color for the pedicure, at least she laughed. I was not laughing when she couldn't find my vein, but one of her nicer associates stepped in and found one. I waited for some time, enough to overhear three people surrounding me describe their last meal, medications and reason for being naked in a flimsy gown. So much for HIPPA privacy.
I was wheeled into a truly private room for the procedure and told to lie on my side. Too late, I realized that I hadn't drawn a smiley face on my hiney, but the doctor didn't seemed to be easily amused, so I'll save that trick for a more appreciative audience. He asked how I felt and I replied, "Wide awake and ready for happy juice." I thought he was going to go for it before we'd even had dessert! The nurse reassured me and I watched her insert the sedative into my IV, thank God.
I woke up and the doctor came in with a diagnosis of hemorrhoids, oh joy. But the best part were the pictures! Just in time for my holiday cards; a perfect little wreath for friends and family!
This is a blog created to satisfy many of you sick people that just need to know every gory detail of my horse kick on April 22nd, 2011, or Earth Day, or The Day I Hit The Earth, Really Hard. Facial lacerations and head trauma can be pretty damn funny and bits of my life sprinkled in makes for good fodder as well. My humor helps me heal. You're welcome.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
Monday, November 14, 2016
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
The Maine Idea
So of course, people want to know if we'll get another dog. WE WILL NOT BE GETTING A PUPPY. Let's be clear on that. I would love to get an Irish Wolfhound, but they don't live long enough. I would also like to rescue a senior dog or two, just to complement the average household age. But I'd really like to get a Maine Coon kitty. I've met a few and have always been impressed by their size and personality. More dog like and quite friendly.
The official description is as follows:
"The Maine Coon is one of the largest domesticated breeds of cat. It has a distinctive physical appearance and valuable hunting skills." I'm thinking the Mister can train it to go hunting with him in the field. You know, retrieve birds and claw fish. They could bond and I'd be happy because yet another animal had a productive job and could earn their keep.
So I'm going to a cat show where I'm pretty sure women in suits and sensible shoes won't be running with these magnificent creatures all happy and frisky. Nope. They mean business and need to conserve energy for the hunt.
I shall show you my hunting skills, peon.
The official description is as follows:
"The Maine Coon is one of the largest domesticated breeds of cat. It has a distinctive physical appearance and valuable hunting skills." I'm thinking the Mister can train it to go hunting with him in the field. You know, retrieve birds and claw fish. They could bond and I'd be happy because yet another animal had a productive job and could earn their keep.
So I'm going to a cat show where I'm pretty sure women in suits and sensible shoes won't be running with these magnificent creatures all happy and frisky. Nope. They mean business and need to conserve energy for the hunt.
I shall show you my hunting skills, peon.
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